This is the hardest thing I have found myself writing about. Sharing it publicly makes it even more difficult, but I know that there are many who will want to offer their support and love and I know that it is needed.
Last night, as he was returning home after spending several weeks helping his dad in California, my brother-in-law, Patrick, was killed in a car accident. At this time, I don't know any details. My heart is breaking for my little sister, Beth. Thankfully, Lil was with her when she found out. Nothing makes this easier, but knowing that Heavenly Father put Lil in the right place at the right time brings me some degree of comfort. And now I cling to my testimony of the plan of salvation, while part of me hopes against all hope that this will all turn out to be a huge mistake.
Death is a part of life, that, while I understand in purpose, I struggle to accept in practice. No matter how much I remind myself that it is part of God's plan and essential to progression, I cannot erase the pain it leaves for those that must continue this phase of life. I also have to think that Patrick must also be suffering as he watches his most precious ones' sorrow. My heart, my mind, my body, all ache for my little sister. I would do anything to take away her pain, but that is beyond my power. I know that Heavenly Father will comfort her, but I know that she will suffer beyond my comprehension in that process. I know that she will grow and be a stronger, better woman than I can imagine, but how desparately I wish she did not have to learn those lessons this way. I'm sure we will never fully understand in this life, why Patrick had to leave her and their little son at this time. I pray that she will feel our Savior's love in every dimension of her soul. I pray that comfort will come to her as she struggles to find some new normal in her life. I pray that she will be given the strength she needs for herself and her baby. Please think of them and pray for them. They need all the love they can find right now.
